Fire nearly licked at Kaytun on all sides. None of his crew were anywhere to be found, but he could hear their screams off in the distance. They were joined by the sounds of swords clashing and spells slinging. The only thing in front of him was the chest. Sweat drenched his bandanna and was now beading down his greasy face. After a moment’s hesitation he did what, he told himself, he had to do.
Kaytun shot up in his bed gasping for air. His old muscles and bones all punished him for it. He groaned as he wiped the glaze of sweat off his brow. He wasn’t sure which he would regret more, getting up or going back to sleep. He ended up deciding to start the day. He looked out the window to his small cottage. Outside there was a line of trees that surrounded his home. Judging by how the sun appeared to be a foot over them, Kaytun would say the day already started without him.
He made breakfast and grimaced as he cracked his last egg on the skillet. He would have to go into town soon. He ate his breakfast in silence as he did with all his meals. The only sounds around him were of the critters roaming around the woods. Cicadas made their annoying rattling. Morning crickets were playing their song. Oh joy, a woodpecker now decided to search his door for food.
For whatever annoyance the animals and insects were, Kaytun put up with it. There were far more annoying things in the world.
The second wave of woodpecker taps had a rhythm this time. He looked up from his plate at his door. Another set of knocks continued their off-rhythm beats. Someone was at his door.
Why would anyone come out here? Kaytun made it a point not to have any friends or even say one word more than was needed for his occasional shopping runs.
His bones creaked as he lifted himself from his dining table. He hesitantly opened the door just enough to see outside.
“Hi! I’m Celia. What’s your name?” A little blond girl wearing a white dress with a pink flower pattern was at his door. She was jittery and hopping like her blood was made of pure sugar.
Kaytun closed the door in her face. He turned around in time for another set of ‘musical’ knocks to play. He let out a long quiet groan that would’ve been louder had he the energy to spare.
He cracked the door open once more. “Kaytun,” he said in a low gravelly voice.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Kaytun. I’m Celia.”
“I heard you the first time. What do you want, Celia?”
“I wanted to say ‘hello’ and spend time with you!” She looked more excited as she spoke.
“Didn’t your parents ever tell you not to talk to strangers?”
“They did. But they talk to strangers all the time. People I’ve never seen before come to our house often. My dad invites them inside, my mom makes them tea, and they have long boring talks. I figure if they can talk to strangers, why can’t I?”
Kaytun groaned. “You’ll find a lot of adults tell you not to do something while they do it themselves. But, trust me I’m not a stranger you want to hang around.”
“Can’t I make that decision for myself?”
“How old are you?”
“I’m eight years old!” She threw out her hands showing 8 fingers extended.
“Ah, sorry. I have a rule against talking with anyone younger than nine. Now run along.” He started closing the door but was met with resistance.
Celia was pushing her whole body to keep the door from closing. “Oh, please Mr. Kaytun. Won’t you make an exception just this once?” She looked up with glassy eyes.
Kaytun sighed. “If I close this door, you’re gonna keep knocking aren’t you?”
She vibrated a nod.
He paused for a moment. “Fine.” He opened the door and let her in.
She quickly entered and scanned the room with a face that looked like it was seeing the inside of a grand palace.
“So, you’re in a stranger’s home. You’re talking to a stranger. What else were you hoping to get out of me?”
“Would you tell me a story?”
“A story? What makes you think I have stories to tell.”
“You’re old. Old people always have stories.”
Kaytun narrowed his eyes at her. “I see your parents were too busy entertaining guests to teach you manners.”
The glassy eyes came back. He wanted nothing more than to get rid of this nuisance as quickly as possible. But those eyes. He swore there must be some kind of magical curse behind them.
“Fine.” He went over and sat in his rocking chair next to the small fireplace. Celia ran over and sat on the floor with her legs crossed.
He rested his head back against the chair trying to figure out what he was going to say. The heat of the fireplace warmed his side and flashes of last night’s visions came to mind.
Well, not all stories are happy ones. She’d learn that sooner or later.
“Once upon a time, there was a group of idiot bandits. They robbed and took whatever they could from whomever they could. Being the idiots they were, whatever gold fell into their pockets never stayed for long. Plenty of nights went by with them out in the cold and starving.”
Kaytun looked down at his one-girl audience and she appeared to be hanging on his every word.
“One day,” he continued. “Their leader said ‘I’ve had enough of living offa chump change’,” he said while trying to make his voice sound big and dumb. “’ Let's rob from one o those fancy places. A mansion, I think it's called.” Kaytun couldn’t help but roll his eyes as he spoke. “So the idiot bandits went and broke into a fancy mansion. But of course, such a rich place didn’t stay rich unless it had decent security. So—“
“Question!” Celia interrupted with her stretched far above her head. “What does security mean?”
Kaytun groaned again. “It’s things you use to keep your stuff safe. It can look like doors rigged to shoot someone who tries to break in, nets, or any number of things. For this story, it means a lot of swordsmen and a mage were waiting inside, making sure no one stole anything.”
Celia put her hand down.
He pointed a finger at her. “No more questions, or you won’t hear the rest of the story.”
She nodded. He laid his head back once more. “Now, anytime someone wanted to break into a place, swordsmen would typically be the worst they ran into. This place however had a mage, which is like having to fight a hundred swordsmen.”
“Whoa!” Celia exclaimed.
“Yes, that is what w— they thought when they saw him, but they weren’t nearly as excited as you are. To them, the mage meant assured capture, if they were lucky. But rather than have one smart thought in their lives and surrender, one of the bandits grabbed a nearby candlestick and threw it at the mage. The mage used his magic to easily swat away the pitiful attack. But the candle, of course, landed right under the window drapes.”
“Uh-oh,” said Celia.
“’ Uh-oh’ is right,” the edge of his mouth couldn’t help but rise a bit. “Those expensive drapes look great, but boy do they catch fire quick. While the idiot bandits scattered throughout the mansion, grabbing whatever they could without slowing down, the swordsmen and the mage hunted the bandits down one by one. I guess they thought their job only required them to deal with thieves and not keep the place from burning to cinders.” Kaytun shrugged his shoulders.
“Now, one of the bandits managed to stay hidden while his fr— associates were being felled. He even managed to find a chest tucked away in one of the rooms. It was big but not too big for one person to carry, and it was filled with priceless treasure. You know what he did?”
“He left the treasure behind and saved his friends.”
Kaytun scoffed. “Please, you asked for a story, not a fairytale. No, he grabbed that treasure and ran out. With all the fire and confusion, no one ever caught him.”
“Why did he do that? Didn’t he care about his friends?”
Kaytun paused. A shadow came over his expression. “No, he didn’t, because he was a bad man. And bad men are the ones who get the treasure in the end.”
“I don’t like that.”
“Yeah, well. That’s what happened. The end.” Kaytun got up from his chair and went over to the dining table where he left his dirty dishes.
“But what happened to the bandit who got away?” asked Celia.
“He—“
Knock! Knock!
Kaytun looked at his door with a grimace. Years no one came by here, and now everyone wants to visit. It was probably the girl’s parents. This was sure to be a fun conversation.
He reluctantly opened the door. He then raised his eyebrow. He was not expecting this. There were three men dressed in ragged leathers and wore bandannas over their mouths. The one in the middle held a crude-looking sword at Kaytun’s chest.
Guess it was only a matter of time before someone came looking for it.
Kaytun backed away with his hands raised. Celia shrunk and tried to hide behind his rocking chair, but was still plainly visible.
“Much appreciated you having her out here. Makes it much easier to grab her when there’s no one around.”
Kaytun was confused. These punks weren’t after his treasure? Not that there was much left after so many years. Still, what did they want the girl for?
“I’m sure the mayor will pay a fine ransom to have his little girl brought home safely.”
Celia is the mayor’s daughter?!
“Look, I’m old. I’m not interested in whatever you’re up to. How about you leave me and my house in peace?”
“We’ll be happy to, gramps.” He turned to his compatriots. “Grab the girl and let’s be off.”
Celia looked at Kaytun with fear in her eyes. “Mr. Kaytun! Don’t let them take me!”
Kaytun couldn’t look in her direction. “Sorry, kid. Like I said, bad men get the treasure in the end.”
The bandits’ leader cackled. “Couldn’t agree more.”
Celia struggled against them, but the bandits soon had her tied up and gagged.
“Thank you for all your help,” said the leader as he closed the door behind him.
Kaytun was alone again. Just like he had been this morning. Just like he had been for the past 40 years. Just the way he liked it. Except he didn’t like it at all this time.
With everyone gone, he could hear the sounds of the woodland critters once more. The annoying cicadas. The crickets played their song. No woodpecker this time.
He brought his dishes over to the sink but stopped before turning on the water. Why was he bothered? He was a retired bandit. He had stolen plenty. He had killed a fair number when he had to. He abandoned the people closest to the word ‘family’ when they needed him most.
It wasn’t like he could do anything about it. His body hated him anytime he stood up. And it never hated him more than now as he crouched down beside his bed and removed one of the floorboards. He reached into the opening and pulled out an old rusty sword.
———————————————————————————
The sky had grown cloud-cast in the past hour or so. The bandits slowly made their way down the road between the trees. The leader was annoyed by how much they had slowed due to the little girl’s constant struggle. He just kept telling himself the money would be worth it.
“Hold up!” He heard a gravelly voice shout from behind then went into a coughing fit.
The three bandits turned and saw the old man leaning against a large tree holding a rusty sword.
“Let the girl go!”
The three bandits laughed their heads off. “Or what, old man?”
The old man was breathing heavily. “Or you’ll have to deal with me.”
The bandits chuckled and shook their heads. “Have it your way. We tried to be nice, but we don’t mind heading back and ransacking your shack.” They threw Celia off to the side. She rolled a little as she hit the ground hard.
The three bandits walked together toward the old man.
“Stop! Don’t take another step!” the geezer ordered.
“Oh, are you going cut us down with that rusty piece of junk?”
“Please, me and this sword are too old to cut you. And I wouldn’t say you’ll be going ‘down’.”
The bandit leader raised an eyebrow as Kaytun swung his sword behind the tree he was leaning on.
The bandits’ bodies were smashed together as the whole world turned end over end. When things finally seemed to settle, the leader was upside down. He and his bandits were wrapped in a net swaying back and forth at least 30 feet off the ground.
“What— What is this?”
Celia managed to get the gag out of her mouth. “It’s called security!”
“That it is, little one,” the old man said with a small chuckle as he untied Celia.
“But there weren’t any traps on our way in!”
“You idiot. If you’re going to make it hard for people to come in, you might as well put up a giant sign saying ‘valuable stuff inside.’”
Celia put her fists on her hips and blew raspberries at them. “Mr. Kaytun, would you take me home now?”
“Sure. And we’ll talk to your daddy about collecting these idiots.”
They started to walk away, but then Kaytun stopped. “Oh, if you’re thinking of cutting yourselves down, best be careful. You never know which part of you is gonna hit the ground first.”
Celia skipped a few yards ahead as Kaytun hobbled as best he could, leaving his rusty sword behind.
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